Jon Franko


In Shoot from the hip on May 9, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Been a minute since I’ve written last. That sucks. I was really going to try to stay on top  of this blogging thing. It’s just that a Facebook post or a Twitter tweet or even a Foursquare checkin, well, they’re all so much easier. But, I’m back and blogging. So, to get you up to speed.

  • I know how to lay hardwood now. In fact, in process of doing it to my entire second floor.
  • I know how to lay tile now. Or, well, I at least know how to watch someone while they lay tile. You simply watch and stay out of the way and grab beers at their first sign of thirst. But really, I could do it if my life depended on it. If I was stranded on a deserted island and I had to lay tile to get off the island. But that would be a ridiculous scenario, so that doesn’t really matter anyway.
  • I haven’t shaved in two weeks. My beard reminds me of a baby bird that has prematurely fallen from it’s nest. Pathetic.
  • The National has a new album that comes out tomorrow. Band of Horses the following week. Pretty excited about that little tidbit of information.
  • I’ve found that I have a green thumb. Surprising.
  • I’m wanting to try my hand at masonry.  But that looks crazy complicated. Screw it, I’m learning. I want to build a firepit out of brick.
  • My credit card tab is frightening at the moment. Housing market, daddy needs a new pair of shoes. Literally.
  • Haven’t read a book or magazine in close to 5 months. I miss it.
  • My Netflix got turned back on after a five month pause. Tropic Thunder was my fir fir fir fir first movie.
  • Other than that, haven’t seen any movies in a while. Seriously, my life is my home and my work at the moment.
  • Gorilla hired our first employee. We’re very excited about that. Business if really steady at the moment. We couldn’t be happier.
  • I discovered Audi-K’s hot dogs. Good shit.
  • I was asked to come speak to two classes at the Mizzou Journalism School. Steve Kopcha asked me to come down. It was truly an honor.
  • Been trying to take more and more photos. I’m getting better, but still not great. I’m gonna keep plugging.
  • I support Mizzou to the Big 10. It’d be interesting. Not to mention lucrative and convenient.
  • Missouri wild turkey – 1. Jon Franko – 0. No luck on a big gobbler again this year.
  • Getting the Canadian itch earlier than normal this year. Already dreaming of hearing the loons, drinking the Labatts, smoking the Backwoods and landing a trophy musk.
  • Dad helped me on the floor. Dad is good at stuff like that. Uncle Tom has helped with the Reber house too. Uncle Tom is really solid at this stuff too. Hopefully, by the time I’m a dad, I can do this stuff too. I mean, I can do it already, but these cats don’t even have to think about it. They just know how to do it. Like an animal taking care of its young. No instructions. No books. No videos. Just an innate sense I guess.
  • “Put a little hair around it and I’ll get it right in.” Folks, I didn’t say it. The old man did. I laughed my ass off.
  • I still miss Grandpa Parker everyday.
  • Steve and Machio are fun to work with.
  • Sometimes it feels good and makes sense to say, screw it, I ain’t making it perfect. For instance this blog post – so far from perfect. Didn’t even proof it. Deal with it.
  • Don’t efff with perfection. New Karate Kid looks brutal. Need Machio back!

“Characters welcome”…

In Advertising on March 7, 2010 at 11:04 pm

USA’s (the tv channel) tagline.

After watching NCIS for about ten minutes, I couldn’t imagine a better two-word synopsis of the network.

The show, from what I saw of it, was terrible. Of course, this comes from a guy who is in full-hustle of cranking through The Wire – a cop drama like no other with more great characters than a Where’s Waldo book. From unrealistic technology to bad acting and crappy music, NCIS is the Nickelback of nightime tv.

So back to the tagline for a moment – how does a line like this get approved? Character’s welcome? Are you kidding me? So, you’re telling me that you welcome all sorts of crazy characters to watch your programming? Or that you’re currently encouraging characters to audition for one of your bad shows? I’m confused by this line and I feel sorry for the junior copywriter who probably actually presented a pretty damn good line but somehow had it whittled down to…characters welcome.

USA, you’re the reason I can live without tv.

My magazines are piling up. My books are gathering dust.

In Reber, Uncategorized on February 28, 2010 at 9:01 pm

And there is not a damn thing I can do about it.

As you might know from my first post, I’m rehabbing an old house. It started as a “just throw some paint on the walls” project.

Lots of money later, it’s evolved into this precious little undertaking that I fondly refer to as Reber.

Yes, when it’s all said and done, I’m sure I’ll be smiling from ear-to-ear and life will be full of dancing unicorns and cars that don’t rust. But, at the moment, it’s hell. Hell in a house. Hell in a house on Reber, the eponymous name of my “weekend project”.

This weekend, for instance, I spent two full days painting a ceiling. Not the entire home’s ceiling, but the ceiling in one little room. A room that’s about 11×12. Feet, not inches of course. If it was inches, I’d been done quickly. But I of course, wouldn’t be able to live in it. Because it’d be way too small.

The room was a time-suck because the ceiling is car siding. Cool and neat – yes. Fun to paint – the worst. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine a shittier thing to paint. The only challenger would be a wall made of sponge. But, since such a thing doesn’t exist, I think my troubles are the worst. Word to the wise – if you have car siding, don’t paint it or hire a professional with a sprayer.

Second to all this, I’ve had to back-burner one of my favorite activities. That of reading. I really like to read. Magazines, books, whatever. I enjoy it all. And right now, I don’t have it in me to stay caught up. The Business Journal, Wired, Fast Company, GQ, Esquire, Gray’s Sporting, Inc., etc., and of course – real books…they’re all piling up and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve already canned Netflix for a few months. I hate to start canceling magazine subscriptions.

So, I beg of you, time. Time turned to helping fellow man – me. On Reber. Paint. Nail. Drywall. Plumb. Whatever your hat, it can be worn in my house.

Oh, and I would like to add that there was a positive to the whole painting experience – getting to spend some serious time with the old man. While we both got more paint on ourselves and the floor than on the ceiling, it was great to spend an afternoon and evening with my dad. So dad, thanks for the help.